My whole heart, mind, body and spirit need refreshing. I feel it down deep that I need to start breathing in some newness. It’s been over a year now since I expierened the loss of a dear friend. I was committed to seeing perfect healing manifest in her life but it just didn’t happen here on earth. She is perfect now and with Jesus so duh! That’s great….. But for those of us left behind the ache is deep. The ache is daily. The questioning haunts me. The second guessing. The fear. The anxiety. The vulnerability. Yeah all that good stuff still lingers heavy with me. I feel the need to get away. To change up my senery. To do something drastic just to shake it off. Grief is weird and I have no idea what “works” but so far it seems like my best bet! But who knows?!
This statement is currently running through my head daily. Did I not really believe?!? Cause frick!!!!!! It sure felt like I did!! And then I get a moment of clarity and I know that I did. I know that I do! I do believe and I will see so much goodness ahead. I will be strong again but for right now I will just hold on.